There's a proverb that became all too relevant to me in this bittersweet weekend: "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."
I had the privilege of crossing bridges over canals in Amsterdam with two of my closest friends this weekend. But this joy was interrupted when we had to cross a different kind of bridge: making decisions in light of tragic events that were far too close for comfort.
Amsterdam: Bridges Adorned with Bicycles
I happened to have the same Thursday night flight as two others in my program and so we kept each other entertained on the way to and while waiting in the Budapest airport. It was nice to have the company and someone to hold my bag while I got my shoes off to go through security - even though I forgot to take off my jewelry.
My first friend landed in Amsterdam shortly after me and we met at the end of the hike it took to get to the arrivals hall (that airport is HUGE). We took a bus to the hotel, got off at the wrong stop and, once we
became too skeptical of the directions I got from Google Maps, stopped
in a gym to ask the reception for directions. It was another 20 minutes
walking but (as we constantly reminded ourselves) we were in
Amsterdam - where canals make navigation easier and excessive bicyclists make crossing streets scarier.
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Street-sized hallway in the Amsterdam airport |
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Amsterdam sign by the Van Gogh museum - nearly empty in the rain |
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Street and bridge completely covered by bicycles. They even had their own parking lots! |
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More bicycles in front of the palace by the Red Light district |
We finally found and checked into our hotel - a Best Western half an hour out of the city - before venturing back out for dinner. We decided to stay in the area so we didn't have to attempt navigating night buses. We ended up at a restaurant down the road where only one waiter seemed to speak English and the menu was only in Turkish and Dutch, but the food was good and we got two mugs each of Turkish tea on the house.
The next day we met our other friend at the train station and found a café for breakfast in the city center. It was delicious
and they had two cats! That wandered freely and received attention from whomever they pleased. We intended to go from there to the Anne Frank House but thought the line was too long (this will come back later) so we went to the Van Gogh museum instead and followed that with a tour of the Heineken Factory.
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Heineken Factory |
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Heineken Factory |
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Cat in the cafê |
Saturday was emotionally sobering. We woke to the full news of the attacks and to friends, family, and school officials confirming our locations and well-being. My friends had to confirm they had safe travel back to their cities and one of them had to completely change her plans to avoid flying in to Paris. It was stressful, it was frustrating, and it was sad.
For comfort we returned to the café with the cats for breakfast. We went to the Anne Frank House - only this time the line was three times as long and we waited (freezing) for two hours. But it was incredibly worth it.
We saw the bookcase that hid the doorway to the secret apartment where she and seven others lived in hiding. I learned things I didn't know about the holocaust, about Anne Frank, and about her diary itself. For example, she rewrote most of it with the hope and intention of it being published after the war.
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Canal by the Anne Frank House |
Once we let it all sink in and got our thoughts together again, we walked to the Red Light district to see what all the hype is about. It's exactly what you'd expect from the Red Light district.
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Christmas decorations in the Red Light district |
The rest of the night was spent back at the hotel pre-packing and watching Netflix before calling it an early night - one of my friends had to leave shortly after four in the morning because of adjusting her flights. It was fun as always to see them, especially in a pretty European city, but it did not go as planned.
Bridges of Nightmares
This weekend was the closest I've gotten to being
ready to go home. In the wake of tragedy I missed the comfort of home, of my native tongue, of distance, and of being able to go in to the next room to hug my friends and family.
I'm mad.
I'm mad that we had to cross this bridge. I'm mad that one of my friends had to deal with the stress of finding the safest way back to her study abroad city in Western France. I'm mad that we cancelled our trip to Paris next weekend out of safety - out of fear.
I'm mad that nearly every conversation I've heard in English since has been related to the attacks; that this is what preoccupies minds. I'm mad that it is a conversation that has to be had. Most of all, I'm mad that we live in a world where such a tragedy, such a violation, may occur at all.
I'm also lucky.
I'm lucky that we happened to schedule our Paris trip for the following weekend. I'm lucky that my biggest loss in all this is $80 and a few extra days with my friends who I will see again in a couple months regardless.
I'm lucky to attend a school that was proactive and sure to check on the locations and well-being of all students currently abroad and to update students and families frequently. I'm lucky to live in an age where technology makes that so easy; even Facebook activated a safety feature that allowed people to check in and check for others. I'm lucky not to have lost anyone in the attacks.
But many people were not as lucky. My thoughts and prayers are with those whose lives were lost as well as with those who remain but will never forget. I hope that they can recover and move on.
In the words of Anne Frank: “... in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.”